I arrive in the UK
After a wonderful time with Daniel Billing I suffered the most undignified treatment, being sent through the post to Stuart Rance’s house in Essex. The parcel was dark and bumpy and I was inside for ages.
I really needed some fish to revive me, but first my new friend (lovingly referred to as “Mrs Stuart”) said I had to try this thing called “tea” (I was willing to give it a go because it rhymed with “sea”).
The tea was ok but I still needed fish. I wasn’t too sure what the silver things were with my salmon (humans are weird) but the fish was delicious.
Mrs Stuart and his family taught me a new game called Pengi Ping Pong, thankfully nobody brought up the topic of gamification (I would look silly with a badge) and I’m pleased to say that I thrashed them all!
Whilst I was staying with Mrs Stuart there was a Forrester conference at a hotel in central London, so I went to visit them on a Sunday lunch time to see who I could find. First some familiar faces:
Then I discovered a new breed of analyst by the name of Chris Matchett who I liked a lot because he wore clothes that supported penguins. Apparently he works for Gartner and not for Forrester. I think he might have been on a mission to steal CMDB secrets from the mighty O’Donnell but I can’t be certain.
Then I met the love of my life Andie Kis.
We all went for tea in Hyde Park and I even had time to teach Andie how to ride a scooter.
HP Discover, Las Vegas
After a brief visit with Mrs Stuart’s family it was time to do some ITSM stuff. We went back to my favourite town, Las Vegas, to HP Discover. I was expecting to get my own seat in the first class end of the plane, but Mrs Stuart said I had to hide in his bag because I didn’t have a passport. I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous; penguins have been travelling all over the world without passports for centuries.
HP Discover was an enormous event. I couldn’t believe how big it was. This wasn’t an IT Service Management conference (apparently there is more to technology than just ITSM… I know it was a shock for me too); it seemed to cover every imaginable aspect of IT, but with about 12,000 attendees there were plenty of ITSM exhibits and more than enough people to keep me entertained.
Here’s a few of the friends I made:
Mrs Stuart must get more of his colleagues to take part in Twitter so that I can keep in touch with them.
G2G3 are a company that really do understand IT Service Management, although there is of course always room for improvement. I commend their hiring of that super intelligent bloke Ian Clayton and my dear friend Ken Gonzalez, but let’s face it, what they really need is some penguin expertise.
Anyway, the HP keynote by Meg Whitman was really good. She talked about HP customers and partners, as well as the huge range of HP hardware, software and services. There was also a presentation by some guy called Kevin Bacon who didn’t have anything to do with IT Service Management, but talked about Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. He made me think of Mr Ken (Gonzalez), he likes bacon.
The audience at Mrs Stuart’s presentation went absolutely wild for my silhouette. I wanted to stay there for the whole session but Mrs Stuart made me get down when he wanted to change slides. Personally I think my presentation on the importance of fish in ITIL processes would have been better but whatever.
There was a concert one evening, by a guy called Carlos Santana. Lots of flashing lights and loud music, but the humans seemed to enjoy it. What I really like about Las Vegas, is that there’s always plenty of fish. Even on the fruit machines.
On my final day in Las Vegas, Mrs Stuart took me for a walk up and down the strip (which was nice considering that that Stephen Mann bloke never bothered on my first trip). There were lots of places where I expected to find fish, but they all seemed to be empty.
When I did find some fish, there was a solid pane of glass in the way, so I was starving by the time Mrs Stuart finally fed me. ITSM is hard work.
Back in the UK
Then the same thing happened when we got back to the UK, Mrs Stuart took me for a walk in the park and the lake had this terrible sign! I really don’t think much of a country that doesn’t let its penguins go swimming or fishing.
itSMF in Dublin, Ireland
Stuart’s next trip was to speak at an itSMF event in Dublin, I was quite excited because this was my first trip to Ireland (although I’m still not happy that itSMF still haven’t acknowledged the free advertising on my twitter profile). You can see how the audience listened to everything I had to say (because I am the ITSM KING… penguin! Ha!). It was a great event, that included a barbecue and bar at the end.
Moving on again
I was quite sad when I had to leave Mrs Stuart’s house for my next adventure, I think his youngest daughter had taken quite a shine to me and I didn’t even get a photo of her (I hope Andie isn’t reading this). Mrs Stuart says I can help deliver his presentation to itSMF UK in November, so we’ll be meeting again.
At the moment I’m hanging out with Ivor Macfarlene although I am not sure where he is intending on taking me. If anybody knows please let me know! Rest assured I will be eating fish and spreading the ITSM love whatever happens.