The AXELOS “Future of ITIL” workshops – a birdseye view

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Mrs Stuart still loves me ❤

Emma Maccormick needed help choosing fish at dinner

Emma Maccormick needed help choosing fish at dinner

I miss Mrs Stuart. That aside it was great to see him again last week, along with some other rather strange-looking humans, as Ivor MacFarlane chauffeured me to an AXELOS “Future of ITIL” workshop in London. That’s a lot of complicated words in a row – Penglish is so much easier to understand than English. Especially American English, and don’t start me on Australian English but at least they’re in the right hemisphere.

If you want to see what the workshop was about then I suggest you read these:

However, if you want the real gossip on the future of ITIL, then you’ve come to the right penguin. But keep this between just the two of us – I think it was Julius Caesar that said “Loose lips sink ships” – well it was some human male in the distant past.

So what happened at the Future of ITIL workshop?

First of all, there wasn’t enough fish for even a smallish penguin. Thankfully Ivor is now igloo-trained and he carries emergency fish supplies for me at all times. There was a lot of human talk about IT and customers. Much of it was stuff that us penguins have known about and used for years.

It was very warm too. I have to admit that the weather and all the hot air induced a number of Pengi-powernaps but I did capture the following notes on my Pengi-pad – at least I think it’s what was said:

  • ITIL either needed to be sold or shipped off to Australia. It seems the UK government has historically done this sort of thing.
  • According to Ivor, ITIL v5 will be ready for April 1 2014. Mrs Stuart will be writing it in addition to his day and night jobs – thank heavens he can touch-type. The IT Skeptic will proof-read it. I can’t remember who was coloring in the pictures. I know Patrick Bolger volunteered but the group was unsure he could color-in within the lines.
  • ITIL v5 will be 5 pages long. This sets a precedent – ITIL v6 will be six pages, v7 seven pages, etc. Some argued that this was still too long but it was the compromise.
  • I know James Finister wanted more trains in ITIL v5 but I think he lost that one by a slim margin. I know the IT Skeptic and many others will be disappointed.
  • The ITIL brand will be phased out over time. It will be replaced by FISH which stands for “Framework of IT Service Helpfulness.” I feel better about ITIL already.
  • ITIL books and exams will be available in 1001 languages including Esperanto. This will be administered by the minions from that Despicable Me documentary.
  • Paul Wilkinson will head up ITIL training – importantly he has reserved the right to point out where he has gone wrong if needed.
  • Somebody mentioned that Quantified Elf again and AXELOS agreed to survey the Elf community.
  • There was consensus around the need for greater social activity. Patrick was halfway into arranging a global pub-crawl when the group pointed out that this was the use of social media and communities not a Friday-night social.
  • There was talk of paying to name the new royal baby “ITIL.” The only thing that stopped this was the impending ITIL rebranding exercise. Maybe baby number two can be called FISH?
  • I think Mrs Stuart also let slip that his employer might be merging with ServiceNow to form an imaginatively-titled “ServiceHPNow.” Not overly certain on this one though – Mrs Stuart said a lot of stuff. That idiot-of-an-ex-analyst, who is now being entertained by ServiceNow, declined to comment – they probably don’t dare tell him anything anyway.

Who did I meet?

Well, I’ve included photos of all the people I helped during the workshop. It’s tough being me, I’m only little.

Peter Hepworth agreed that ITIL needs more penguins

Peter Hepworth agreed that ITIL needs more penguins

Entering Las Vegas - do they speak Penglish here?

Phil Hearsum is like a big polar bear – I was a little scared until I saw he was a big softie really

Entering Las Vegas - do they speak Penglish here?

Colin Rudd playing it all Pacino

Entering Las Vegas - do they speak Penglish here?

Frances Scarf seems to be blowing a kiss at Mrs Stuart

Entering Las Vegas - do they speak Penglish here?

Claire Agutter is soooo nice she should really be a penguin

Entering Las Vegas - do they speak Penglish here?

I think Patrick Bolger wants more kids

Entering Las Vegas - do they speak Penglish here?

Jayne Groll is proud to be affiliated with penguins

Entering Las Vegas - do they speak Penglish here?

Chris Barrett confused me for his mobile – a quick peck to the ear sorted this

Entering Las Vegas - do they speak Penglish here?

Anthony Orr doesn’t see many penguins in Houston

Finally it was nice to see so many ladies at the work shop but AXELOS definitely needs to up its Penguin quota. More fish would definitely help with this.

Remember – this is just between you and me. I’d hate for every Tom, Dick, and Puffin to know what we concluded last week. Oh and I did have some funny dreams as I powernapped …

If you have an opinion as to the future of ITIL, please email AXELOS. You can also follow what is really happening by looking for their communications on Twitter or Google+

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